Shiver Me Tinders #1
Below: real excerpts from a few Tinder profiles. Some raise a lot more questions than they answer.
'I'm a busy professional male with not much free time... you need to be very open-minded and willing. I'm a poly kinkster.'
'Looking for a woman to pee on my face and fuck me with a strap-on. I'm skinny, 180cm tall, white and hung.'
'I recycle used boxes'.
'After a dominatrix, mistress or a slave. I like both. Life is far too short to be vanilla. Why not add some sprinkles, chopped nuts and some candy?'
'I'm here to feel better about myself and inflate my ego. Let's get a cup of tea and I can tell you how good I am at everything. Artist'.
'30% narcissist. 60% c*nt. 10% gentleman. 0% misogynist. 100% going again to Tomorrowland 2017! 186cm'.
'Love sex. Hung (8 soft, 10.5 hard), and know how to use it.'
One super-liker seemed to be okay with what has to be the most tactful euphemism to date. Kudos to this guy: '178cm, ambivert, grounded, I'm not looking for one night stands but power to you if that's your thing, vegetarian + fish'.
And lastly, my personal favourite, Tim. You ride that thang.